will power is for people who don't want to get laid
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
