We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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