You really coming over, don't trick.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
