is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
