did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I skipped work to stalk him.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
