u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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