through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
