Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Fuck me I smell like cheese
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
