Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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