then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
you made out with another girl for some wings
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
