I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just googled if crying burns calories
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize