Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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