u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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