bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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