Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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