I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
