quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
