And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just high enough for therapy.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
