I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
my nose is crying tears of wow.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
