so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
