you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize