The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
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