shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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