i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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