My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize