so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize