his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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