fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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