So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
