I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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