one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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