Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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