you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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