All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
