We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
