My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
