my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
operation have a gay friend backfired
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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