Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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