What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
