She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Randomize
