I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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