My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
