you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
