so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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