Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
