I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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