Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
