i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The power of my boobs compel you
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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