it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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