My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
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I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
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I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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