shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
