3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
