I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
