You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
