ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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