I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize
