Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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