It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Your cock deserves a montage
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
